Bonus #2!! “Next Time Won’t You Sing With Me?”

“Won’t you sing with me?” The catchy ending to a favorite song or an invitation to more? Music is a universal language that we begin sharing with our children from a very young age. We sing lullabies to babies, dance with preschoolers, listen to music in classrooms, and swap playlist recommendations with teens. Shared musical experiences provide a foundation for building relationships, as well as for physical and cognitive growth. Indeed, making and listening to music is one of the most basic human functions. Music allows us to feel nearly all emotions that we experience in our lives. What an incredible thing to share with the kids in our homes and classrooms. 

“If children are not introduced to music at an early age, I believe something fundamental is actually being taken from them” - Luciano Pavarotti. According to an article on brighthorizons.com (link below), “Music ignites all areas of child development and skills for school readiness, including intellectual, social-emotional, motor, language, and overall literacy. It helps the body and the mind work together. Exposing children to music during early development helps them learn the sounds and meanings of words.”  Music also has benefits that go beyond brain development, such as mood-boosting, reducing stress, stimulating memories, and easing pain, according to NorthShore.org (link below). 

Thankfully, it’s not our actual singing voice that matters when we look at ways to bring musical experiences into our homes and classrooms. Whether listening to a current pop song on the radio, introducing our kids to a “classic” CD, taking a break with a dance party, encouraging them to try an instrument, or singing songs together, music benefits us all. 

BrightHorizons

NorthShore.org

Bonus! “Now I Know My ABCs”

Learning the alphabet (letter recognition) is a skill that happens naturally for most kids between the ages of 2 and 6. While learning the alphabet is often seen as an indicator of later success in other reading skills, research does not support that. What research does support is the importance of sharing reading experiences with our kids and helping them to develop a positive association with books and stories. From looking at board books with babies to acting out stories either read or made up with preschoolers to listening to books on Audible on a road trip with teenagers, there are countless ways to weave reading experiences into our children’s lives. 

An article on Parents.com (link below) lists 18 ways to share reading experiences with kids of all ages, including reading aloud, modeling reading for pleasure, and even cooking. The article also mentions the importance of keeping reading fun at home and in early childhood settings. Teachers in elementary settings and beyond need to instruct on the mechanics of reading and comprehension skills, but even in these classrooms, it is important to maintain the joy that reading and story-telling can bring. “Books should make you laugh and smile, transport you to faraway lands, and transform you into dragon-slaying sleuths, making you feel all the feels along the way” (same article). 

Not all of us would list scuba diving, cooking, or watching baseball as our favorite hobby, and it’s ok if we - or our kids - don’t rank reading in our top three leisure time activities. However, as loving parents and teachers, when we intentionally share enjoyable reading experiences of all kinds with our kids, we can help lay a strong foundation for them as they grow and develop in confidence and skill. 

Parents.com

Z - Love Does Zeal

The Oxford dictionary defines zeal as “great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause or an objective.” Whether at home or in the classroom, one of our greatest objectives is for our children to know without a doubt that they are loved. The Oxford dictionary also lists synonyms for zeal as enthusiasm, eagerness, gusto, and energy. When we love our children zealously, we love them with enthusiasm, eagerness, gusto, and energy. This comes naturally for some, but it feels uncomfortable for others. And either way, sometimes we find ourselves in the situation of not loving our kids' actions and choices. Nevertheless, when we make an effort to love with zeal, our children will reap the many benefits of knowing they are deeply loved.

Let us be the people in our kids’ lives who don’t hold back, the place they turn to know they are loved unconditionally. Let us be the ones who love them without reservation. We'll be the ones that cheer for them, compliment them, inspire them, and encourage them when they are on the right path. Let us be the people who love them “loudly, enthusiastically, and boldly because love is not supposed to be kept hidden” (Love Enthusiastically).

Y - Love Does Yes

“Don’t jump on the couch.”

“Stop running!”

“No more talking.”

These are common phrases we might find ourselves saying to our kids. Given the specific situation, they might well be reasonable requests that help maintain order and safety in our homes and classrooms. Our kids, though hear only No, No, No. 

“You can’t go outside; it’s too cold.”

“No, I can’t join you. I have work to do.”

“We aren’t doing that activity; it’s too messy.”

Sometimes it is cold. There is always work to do. Certain activities can be messy. These are all valid reasons to consider denying a request. But still, our kids spend all day hearing No, No, No. 

What if, instead, we made an effort to say Yes?

• Yes, you can jump, on the trampoline.
• Yes, you can run, when we go outside.
• Yes, you can talk, as soon as your work is done.
• Yes, we can go outside. Let’s get our coats and gloves on.
• Yes, I would love to play. I need 20 minutes to work first
• Yes, we can do that activity. It’s messy, so let’s get a drop cloth. 

There will absolutely be times when we can not say yes to our children. Some situations or requests involve their safety, our integrity, or other values that cannot be compromised. This makes it all the more important to say Yes when we can. It may require additional effort or little creative thinking, but by saying Yes whenever we can, we establish a foundation of positive communication and a good relationship to build on. That way, when we need to say no, our children are far more likely to listen. 

X - Love Does eXample

“Your children will follow your example, not your advice.” This anonymous quote puts into words what most parents and teachers instinctively know to be true. All we need to do is think back to when we were kids. With some exceptions, the adults from our childhoods are typically remembered not for the words or wisdom they shared or instructions they gave but instead for how they presented themselves, how they treated us, and how they acted toward others. 

Once we recognize the importance and long-lasting impact of the example we set in our homes and classrooms, we focus on being the best example we can. An article on GoodMenProject.com (link below) gives several concrete suggestions.

• explaining the thought process behind our decisions
• admitting our mistakes 
• practicing good stress management

While this list is not inclusive, it gives us a good place to start! As loving parents and teachers, we want the best for our kids. That’s why we owe it to them to live by our best example. No one will ever be perfect, but by paying attention to the example we are setting, we can do right by our children and ourselves at the same time. 

GoodMenProject.com

W - Love Does Work

When we first hold our newborn child or walk into a class of new students on the first day of school, we often have a shiny happy feeling of love. But it doesn’t take long for sleepless nights with an infant or nonstop chatter in the classroom to dull the shine of that love-feeling. That’s when real love shows up. When the newness wears off, and emotion fades, we must choose to work at love.

Love feels good, but real love is more than just a feeling. Real love is a choice. Real love is action. In today’s world, it seems we want maximum results with minimal effort. But that's not real love. Love in any relationship takes work to communicate and understand each other. It takes work to intentionally set aside time to be together and to set aside our preferences in favor of what is best for the other person. In our roles as loving parents and teachers, it also takes effort to provide boundaries, enforce discipline, and teach accountability. 

Loving our children will not always be easy, but love is always a choice we can make. It is always an action we can take, and our children will always be worth it. 

V - Love Does Venturous Play

Venturous play - more commonly known as Risky play - includes factors such as speed, height, and tools. We have removed much of what constitutes risky play in our attempts to keep our homes and schools safe for our children. Unfortunately, this means we have removed the opportunity for our kids to develop self-confidence, resilience, executive functioning abilities, and even risk management skills. Of course, there is a balance to be had as, according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, our children need to feel safe. An article on cbc.ca (link below) advises parents and teachers to focus on “as safe as necessary” over “as safe as possible.” The same article gives other suggestions for embracing risky play, such as 

- provide guidance

- watch out for our own fears

- wait and see

- provide time, freedom, and space.  

Allowing risky play requires courage on our part. It feels risky to us to allow our kids to play in ways that combine the joy of freedom with just the right amount of fear to produce an exhilarating thrill. Prioritizing our kids' needs over our own fears and worries is truly an act of love. 

CBC.ca - Risky Play